GuineasWorldRecords

Guinea, the

2 Watchers11 Deviations

2.9K

Pageviews

Latest Deviations

See all

The Dork Tower Book 1 by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Jerk by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

Jerk

JERKS! I think it is safe to say that some people are jerks! Especially people who are really really nice and then turn around and are really really mean and they do things that are mean and are just plain flat JERKS! Jerks jerks jerks jerks jerks. Spell check is telling me to knock this repetition off. A reception of repetition! Is my reputation at risk for this repetition? Repetition repetition repetition!!! Take that Dan Quale! Okay anyways I was Parousing through the Proust as usual when I came across a distress call from a distant land. I picked up my phone and began dialing the random numbers to see hear it was and who do you t

The Hills by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

The Hills

The Hills I will miss this hill I spill in with chills of nil. What? Yes. So this is my problem. Late at night I wander through the library pouring over ancient books of all sorts, wonderful forgotten literature of the ancient world, or just the world from about ten years ago. The music of Prokofiev or Mozart fills my ears with wondrous feelings for the wanderlust bug. I swear I will roam again. But not alone this time. I will continue to update this deviant art account as often as I can remember. I feel I have gone off the deep end into a long romantic spiral with the nepenthe of the soul. Ah, that beautiful open road with its vas

the holidaYs by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

the holidaYs

The holidAYs Some things amaze me. Like those lights on Christmas trees this time of year, you know, the ones that if you pass them real quickly in an automobile, you quickly and too suddenly realize they are strobes! And what’s sad is you don’t have really loud bass drums and synth stuff going! These things amaze me. But what I like most are those giant candy canes that people will put out into their yards to attract flying saucers. Did you know those are not edible? No, they’re not. Trust me. Trust me above all else trusting of the trustworthiest boycott you ever trustworthied. I did not like them. I think it is on

The Coldness of the Heart by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

The Coldness of the Heart

I’m cold. I am so cold that the word cold is not an adequate description of the sensation I’m steadily feeling. I feel I need to explain this coldness with some words ruthlessly stolen from my thesaurus rex. It’s chilly. It is frighteningly freezing. It’s hideously icy. A frosty bitter wintry frozen arctic of a wasteland like the one in that one movie about a frosty bitter wintry frozen arctic of a wasteland persists in the outside world. But, ah I shall remain warm in my little dinky apartment with the dinky little heater and my ever warm train of thesaurus rex warmly blazing in the center of the room, lit on fire

Volcanoes on Other Planets by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

Volcanoes on Other Planets

Did you know there are volcanoes on other planets? Yes. It is true. I have recently found this out, and did not realize that most people already knew this. I found out the hard way. Someone told me there are volcanoes on other planets, I did not believe them, bit them, was escorted by some authority to a location somewhere or another, and was read my rights. I was allowed one phone call which I used to call a fellow astrophysicist, and he told me, “Yes Guinea, there are volcanoes on other planets, but why should you waste your phone call on me?” I told him to mind his own business and to tell me why no one else had ever menti

The Raven and the Two Pigeons by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

The Raven and the Two Pigeons

Once upon a time a woman had a beautiful Raven she kept in a wooden cage. Next to his was a second cage that had been empty, but would soon acquire a new set of beautiful pigeons. When she put these new birds next to the Raven, he could not see them because a large wooden board separated them. All that could be seen between the two cages was seen through a tiny knot hole. One day the woman went to feed her new found friends, and noticed one of them sitting quite still on its perch with its head in the knot hole. Whereupon removing the pigeon, she found it no longer had a head, and consequently could no longer qualify as a pigeon. Using

CAPITOLISM by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

CAPITOLISM

THE EVILS OF CAPITOLSIM CAPITOLISM IS EVIL. LET’S JUST GET THIS STRAIGHT. PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IT BEING GOOD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT, BUT IT ISN’T!!! CAPITOLISM IS BAD!!! WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE LOWER CASE FAMILIES, TRYING TO GET BY TO SAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO GO TO SCHOOL?! AND WHAT ABOUT ME? I CAN’T KEEP TYPING LIKE THIS FOREVER! IT’S JUST UNCOMFORTABLE ON MY EYES! WHO HAS THE TIME TO SIT HERE AND READ GIANT SIZED TEXT FOR HOURS ON END? I SAY DOWN WITH CAPITOLSIM! IN FACT THERE SHOULD BE NO DISTINCTION BETWEEN LOWER CASE AND UPPER CASE! YES!! WE MUST ABOLISH THE CASE SYSYTEM! MAYBE I SHOULD JUST GET MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON

cow theory explained by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

cow theory explained

Cow theory explained Contrary to popular belief, the moon is in fact made of cheese. Gouda to be exact, as it is made from gouda cows. How is this possible, you may ask. In fact, you may go so far asto ask, “How is this possible?”. Well, I’ll tell you. In all reality, cows are space aliens. They only live on farms as a cover for their cosmic adventures beyond the reaches of space! Also cows have a genuine unifying answer to everything. How do you get more ubiquitous than “Moo”? But we are deviating from the point at finger. The point has to do with the moon being made of cheese, and not bovine astrophysic

Disgusting by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

Disgusting

A sick cruel joke I have recently discovered to my horror this photo sent to me by what could only be described as an evil bad guy. In this picture… Well look at it! It’s just awful. This is an abomination, which I can not, WILL NOT stand for! I can not even describe the sickening feeling that swims in my tummy like yesterdays garbled grunge rock! It’s hideous! Can you believe such atrocious behavior? I can’t. And you shouldn’t either! In fact I want this next paragraph to be a warning. You never ever ever, not in six trillion years, or for that matter, in a Godzillion years, do you skin the potatoes! It i

See All

Featured Gallery

See all

A Story by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

A Story

A Story Once upon a time there was a guinea pig, who found himself confronted by a single brick wall of about four feet by four feet, and about five inches thick. “This nefarious brick wall obstructs my way,” quote he, speaking juxtasupposedly. After nearly two hours of examining the barrier, he concluded ultimately to set several charges, and blow the holy living snot out of it, for no particular reason. The spectacular mushroom cloud was later photographed by NASA scientists, who yawned and decided to let homeland security worry about it. The moral of this story is; never go around, always blow it up.

Disgusting by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

Disgusting

cow theory explained by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

cow theory explained

CAPITOLISM by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

CAPITOLISM

The Raven and the Two Pigeons by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

The Raven and the Two Pigeons

Volcanoes on Other Planets by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

Volcanoes on Other Planets

The Coldness of the Heart by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

The Coldness of the Heart

the holidaYs by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

the holidaYs

The Hills by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

The Hills

Jerk by GuineasWorldRecords, literature

Literature

Jerk

Watchers 2

Paddy-Wolfe

randomman

Watching 3

randomman

BrianABernhard

Paddy-Wolfe

About GuineasWorldRecords

See all

Artist // Literature

United States
Deviant for 16 years

Badges

My Bio

Current Residence: The local library restroom
Favourite style of art: What is art?
Shell of choice: I like turtles
Wallpaper of choice: I ate my last wallpaper
Skin of choice: fur
Favourite cartoon character: Badguy Man
Personal Quote: I would like... a toothpick

Favourite Movies

Yes

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Nothing anymore. Music is dumb

Favourite Writers

Leonard Nimoy

Favourite Games

Jewel Quest

Favourite Gaming Platform

a table

Tools of the Trade

Anything to make words appear

Other Interests

Eating things I find

Posts

See all

GuineasWorldRecords

Sep 27, 2009

Hello World

0 min read

I really, really, really, really, really should keep up on this stuff.  I'm such a lazy writer sometimes.  Not sure if I will ever do the second dork tower story.  The first one took some time to write, and I'm pretty sure describing Blowhard's eyes as toilet water blue might not go over very well with mr. stephen king.  Oh well, him a pooh butt anyways.

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

GuineasWorldRecords

Jul 24, 2009

The Dork Tower

0 min read

Yes, folks, I have many things I'm going to upload once I typo them from my spiraling notebook.  It has masses of scribbles congregating into ideas that will soon be typed and posted right here.  Among the many things to be typed is a parody of the Dark Tower series I've lovingly called the Dork Tower. Stephen King will probably sue my ass for this.  :D Oh well.

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

GuineasWorldRecords

May 14, 2009

I guess I should update this thingy

0 min read

I guess I should update this thingy.  It has been a while and I was just thinking, "I guess I should update this thingy."  So I did.  My fiend is sad.  He says someone was mean to him.  I don't know, but I think he's being a baby. I go for a long time without getting on this thing, and when I did this time I had like a bazzillion messages piled up!  Not that it mattered.  They were all deviations and friggin' journal entries.  Also there were some contests I think I missed.  There was one Watch! Hip hip hooray!  Now there are three watchers.  Except one of them copped out and hasn't posted anything for over a year.  What a dork.  But hey, I

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

Profile Comments 9

Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In

randomman

Oct 8, 2009

I'm here, and at the same time, I'm not here. Will my art recover? Maybe. It took me over a week to reply to your message, so if it does, it'll probably take awhile.